I don't really know

So, I've been getting lovely letters and phone calls from lawyers in Maryland demanding I pay $20,000 for a hospital visit which I never made. Of course, I always call them and whine and they apologetically tell me that there is too much information available, and I may never get off their mailing list, yada, yada, I've heard it all before.

Now, I never thought I had a tremendously common name, but I had heard of at least three others with my name before I had left high school. I guess it could be worse, I could be John Smith, or probably even worse for someone my age, Matt Smith. (There's another Latin teacher at my church named Matt who graduated from high school the same year I did.)

Of course, this is the problem with the information age. However, does that excuse these companies? I guess now I should just check my credit every so many weeks and make sure no hosers are ruining my good name.

However, I would like to think that this guy is the douche who racked up all these bills and then skipped town. I like to think this primarily because of his response to, "Something about me that you may not know:" I'll save you the trouble of following the link. It is, "I listen to sermons online while in bed at night." Of course, later on, he tells us the value of the "humbleness of Christ," which apparently removes all need for oneself to be humble. (That, and my pet peeve is the back-formation of nouns with "-ness" when there are perfectly good ones that already exist with "-tion" or "-ity" such as "humility.")

Of course, as I read in I John today, "We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death." This was, as always, followed by, "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?"

So my question is, if this is really the person that racked up $20,000 in hospital bills for which strange law-firms are threatening to sue me; and that, in every industrialized nation, except for our own, these same hospital bills would be covered by the government, which would spend far less on health care by treating people before they got crazy sick and not treating people with ridiculous treatments when they were crazy, crazy sick; and that this kid is probably going to vote for Republicans, who will probably never, ever make any effort to nationalize health care, but will justify the financial destitution of hard-working people by some ridiculous neo-Pelagian theology which retarded Hollywood movies made by Jerry Bruckheimer will portray as a more humane alternative to Nicene Christianity, only furthering the problems of our society; then should I forgive him?

I guess I should ask myself, as W., who recently announced that we should invade Iran, the timeless question suggested by millions of bracelets the world over, "What would Mithras do?"

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