drunk-blogging on a cheap date

I sswear I only had two beerss. Go d that s is unforginving. If you're wondering, I'm purpeosefully not correcting the meistiakes that I type, because it make sit seem more like I'm hammered, wehich I am nottisha osrit of . God I 'm jus tmashin g the key board, and I even corrected some mistakes int ehre.

Anyways, I guess I'll try harder to type straight, 'cause it's only cute if you're drunk too. Not too mention that I went drinking on the corner because I was going to pick up my wife from work in a car, wait for it (I hate that phrase so much, god I'm a tool). Now that I'm typing this I realized I said "a car" before I said "wait for it." Geez' this not drinking on a regular basis has really set me back. I'm serious, I only had two beers, well, two pints, or whatever's in those tall glasses. Goddamn vowels are tricky.
Anyways, I've come to a conclusion. I've been wanting to say this for a long time. So here it is, in cervisia, veritas:

The universe is entirely inexplicable, therefore any effort to understand the cosmos renders it only that much more inunderstandable (is that a word?) incomprehensible, therefore only adding to the great beauty of the profound mystery which surrounds and sustains us through the midst of unspeakable horror. (I'm not talking "Scooter" here.)

In case you're wondering, I'll attribute the above to myself, because I'm quoting myself. Damn, I'm smart when I've got two beers under my belt. And by belt I mean...I guess I don't really know what I mean. I have a feeling that a true Southerner, though, would have the perfect aphorism for this occasion. Maybe I should have a Southernism of the day like Joel (fuggetabout any links today people, you're lucky I took a picture of myself) has his link of the day.

Southernism of the day:

"If I told you to haul ass, you'd have to make two trips.

Okay, seriously people, God would like it if I prayed a little bit, or maybe it's Jesus, I'm not really straight on my theology (ohdearlord I'm going to be embarrassed by this come some later date, well read it while you can, 'cause I'll probably have to pull it--geez typing is hard).

Anyways, the Holy Spirit asked me to pray because my destiny is being decided right now by five random less-than-strangers. Is my mother going to move to Charlottesville? Is she going to move somewhere else? Am I ever going to make it past the first round of the tryouts for American Idol. Bytheway, I make a lot of jokes on this blog, but I'm dead serious about this, so don't make fun of me. Clay Aiken's got nothing I don't, except for manners, a nice southern accent, and a gay-friendly image.

Be honest, is this funny or just plain sad. (Can I put a y in plain when I'm drunk or do I have to apply to Merriam-Webster's for a spelling injunction? This is the most pathetic blog post ever, I guess I answered my own question.)

So, indulgence versus moderation? Well, today indulgence wins, tomorrow, the good money should be riding on moderation or asceticism, which is not anything to do with aestheticism, which is possibly not really a word.

Peace, if you understood what I was saying, you my friend, are spending too much time drinking. Dmammn typignt is tioh slo hard.l! You knwot how long it s; takien my eot typd hte smothelaslkjfuiker. Oh question mark.