και συ, τεκνον; Аргументьі и Фактьі.
"But the liberal deviseth liberal things; and by liberal things shall he stand."
—Isaiah 32:8

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Name a "Foreign War" that hasn't started a Civil War.

Mexican War
Ummm...well, let's just say that it was a Civil War.

Spanish-American War
Apparently, it took us almost half a century to fulfill the "white man's burden." I'm talking about the Philippines, if you were wondering.
And apparently, still isn't over.

World War I
Let's go with Bolshevism, and possibly even WW the II, if we stretch a little bit. Or how about all of the colonial conflicts which the Treaty of Versailles only made inevitable?

World War II
Okay, there's a lot to choose from on this one, so let's hit the highlights...
  • China
  • Korea
  • Vietnam

    Korea
    Actually, this Civil War is still going on. Heard of Kim Jung-Il?

    Vietnam
    This one was is a great example of endless conflict. The slaughter had just gotten started when we evacuated the embassy in '75. Once again, the highlights film...
  • Laos
  • Cambodia
  • Thailand (ish)
    Oh, by the by, while attempting to humiliate the Soviets in Afghanistan as we were in Indochina, we laid the groundwork for our modern terror based governance through the unrelenting 30 year internecine conflict. By the way, it hasn't ended yet.

    Gulf War I
    Heard of Kurdistan? Well, if you haven't, the majority of Americans are with you. You know why the Sunnis and Shiites hate each other and us. Because directly after this war, the American generals gave Saddam permission to attack Shia with helicopters. Those are the same ones whom Bush 41 told to rise up against Saddam, and we'd support them.

    Somalia
    If you say, "failed state," what comes to mind?

    Bosnia
    Leads us to...
    Kosovo
    which, hey, maybe Bill Clinton can take credit for this, but let's not count our chickens before they hatch...

    Iraq War II
    This is encouraging.

    Those Barbary pirates didn't stand a chance with these three.Okay, so if you're feeling depressed right now, let's think about the two Foreign Wars that resulted in only minor chaos. We've already given Slick Willy probably too much credit for Kosovo, and we haven't mentioned the myriads of times the Marines have been sent to either prop up some corrupt regime or install or more compliant, but possibly less democratic government in a banana republic.

    However, if you've stayed with me this far, you're probably thinking that I should put on some pants and go out tonight. Which I fully intend to do. You're also probably wondering about early 19th century naval wars. So, let's give Jefferson and his local buddies some credit for winning the Barbary Wars. We kicked some serious Tripolitan tail, without completely destabilizing the whole region.

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