Dino Attack® Osamasaurus

I hope that the new URL for this blog isn't too great of an inconvenience. I figured that anonymity is better than onymity.

So, ever the young boy at heart, I decided to visit LEGO.com and see what wonderful things might lay in store for me there. As a child, I used to spend hours upon hours carefully browsing all the LEGO® catalogs that I could get my hands on. However, in the last few years, I have seen LEGO® products become much more commercialized. It has been kind of disappointing that capitilism inevitably leads to the lowest common denominator, however, the new LEGO® toys can still be used in the same creative ways that we grow up using them for.

However, I have to say, I was left in wonderment at the newest LEGO® product line—Dino Attack®. If you clink on the previous link, you'll be told that the product is rolling out first in the US of A, Australia, and Japan. It seems to be a combination of Jurassic Park and the War on Terror. If you "meet the team" you'll be first introduced to Shadow, the G. Gordon Liddy of the Dino hunting world.

Shadow is the most driven member of the dino hunting squad. His home city was devastated in the first dino attack, and although his family made it to safety, his entire neighborhood was flattened. An adventurer who has been in every international hot spot, he prefers to use the Sonic Screamer first and worry about the dino's intentions later. He and Specs argue a lot over whether the team should simply be defending against dino attacks or actually tracking down dino nests and taking the fight to them.

Of course, if you click on Specs, you'll find a pissed-off LEGO® guy wearing a ski-mask. Because, we all know that liberals are worse than the terrorists. At least terrorists have values—because values means being able to morally justify mass slaughter. Well, I don't know if LEGO® is so desperate for market share that they're trying to create neo-con LEGO® guys, or if they're merely laughing at us all the way to the bank. Those Danes are thinking, "What do Americans like? Dinosaurs and powerful futuristic weapons. We'll make millions!"

Someday, I hope LEGO® makes some cool Roman lego sets. I've got some great ideas. You could have the Battlefield Ballista Team, the Super Masada Seige Ramp, the Queen Boudica Barbarian War Chariot, and the Collossal Corvus Battle Fleet. Anyways, until the time that "educational" means anything other than "self-righteously making money," the best we're going to get is the Professor Lupin's Classroom.