και συ, τεκνον; Аргументьі и Фактьі.
"But the liberal deviseth liberal things; and by liberal things shall he stand."
—Isaiah 32:8

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

mental floss

blogito ergo salveo. si hoc scire non potest, gratias deis age quod numquam magistrum ut me tenebas!

salvete, comblogitatores! nimium vodcae bibi ut sine ratione blogitem. salvete, homines. gratias deo ago quia pauci hoc legere possunt.

Anyways, I'm pumped up for my Cicero class tomorrow. The more of and about Cicero I read, the more I am convinced that human beings have not really gotten any smarter over the past few millenia--we've only become more precise. I'm looking forward to jumping into this rhetoric versus philosophy debate full stream. I mean seriously, what else is this about except for FOXNews?

But, on a lighter note, let's talk about the apocalypse. I've been sneaking bits of pieces of Collapse on weekends and at breakfast. Of course, Jared Diamond had me at the moment go. My brother tried to corrupt me with Victor Davis Hanson, but I know Brother Diamond speaks the truth, as much as a human being might do so.

As Stevie Jay once said, "All our fears boil down to fear of death." He then went on to make some smart-ass comment about dinner theater in Richmond, which was funny in the context of his show, but not so much if I were to repeat it here on this blog. Of course, this is a good point. What do social critics like to say, other than, "Why are we in this handbasket, and where are we going?"

I'm serious and, of course, not serious.

I mean how many times do you hear people talk about the "fall" of the Roman Empire. Gosh, I want to puke the next time someone talks about the Roman Empire "falling." However, the point is, we all see the apocalpyse hiding around the corner. Of course, if the apocalypse weren't hiding around the corner, it wouldn't be much of an apocalypse. (If you're not getting this joke, it's cause you don't know Greek, you lazy bastards. I mean all the Arabs know Arabic, and not just any Arabic either--Classical Arabic.)

Here's the thing. Janna and I saw Gypsy together when we were in Novo Eboraco. (That Bernadette Peters got pipes, by the by.) Anyways, of course, it's a show about a stripper who learns that the key to stripping is to leave 'em always wanting more. That's the key to a good apocalypse, too. That's why no one did the apocalypse better than Juh-EE-suhs. All that talk about "a thief in the night" and ten maidens--what an apocalypse-tease.

But isn't that the key to life, too? Always leave them wanting more. I mean, it's not healthy to peak too early. Of course, if I were to think about it too hard, I could come up with some lame reasons why that's the problem with the Republican party, Jerry Falwell, and American culture in general.

But, you've got to hand it to those conservatives. They take a lickin' and keep on tickin'. Well, if you can't beat 'em, get a job at Wal-Mart.

Monday, January 23, 2006

reading, processing, etc...

Emma ThompsonOkay, here's a list of things that people say even thought they know that everyone knows that they are full of crap.

1. It is such a blessing to be a parent.
Thanks to Emma Thompson for having the ovaries to call this one. I shan't try to say it any more eloquently than she.

WHAT ARE THE LIES WE TELL ABOUT PARENTHOOD? That it's so wonderful. There's no question about that. But it's also difficult, tiring and boring.

2. The LORD has been so good to me.

Of course he has. Once, again, I couldn't dare disagree. I just the hell wish he'd tell me how to redeem the voucher in the book of Jeremiah for those plans he has to prosper me and not to harm me. Do I clip that out and send it in, or is there an online form?

3. The church should have always stuck together.

Erica, a wise person whom I knew in high school, makes mention of this. So did a wise friend from work in a recent devotion. I just find it ironic that the things we value most about the church have generally come about due to the reformation. That and Juh-EE-suhs.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE the Medii Aevii, possibly even in the vaguely creepy, unhealthy way that the guy in the back corner of the library does. But intellectual ferment isn't all bad, is it? I guess what I'm saying is, the unity or disunity of the church hasn't made anyone more or less likely to hunt down and murder the opposition.


4. The political idea of democracy and freedom comes from the ancient (or shall we say classic?) Greeks and Romans.

Of course the Greeks and the Romans had a lot of republican and democratic ideals, but those ideas died hard and stayed dead, even during the Renaissance. Il Principe wasn't exactly a treatise on how to hold a popular referendum. It was the intellectual ferment created by the contact with the "New World" and different ways of life lead by indigenous peoples that inspired people like Locke, Rousseau, et al. Don't take my word for it, they say so themselves. Or you could read 1491. I just finished it. It is a brilliant, if somewhat unresolved, piece of educational literature.

On the same topic, sort of, I've been reading Cicero lately, for my Cicero class. (Don't worry, I haven't up and become a real intellectual yet, "pseudo" with a hyphen suits me just fine.) Anyways, the Romans believed in freedom the way we believe in the interstate system. It's a means to an end. Of course, that end is me going to bed.

Oh, and I've been watching Scrubs. Now, that's some funny stuff. Janna says that it is "the most accurate medical show." Of course, when your competition for accuracy is shows like, Bones, and House, that's not saying too much.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

a call to repentance
or that's ғЦ¢χїπ§ ßЦ||$&!+

I would like to say that basically, I'm a $&!++y person. I'm not very nice; I'm crude; I'm self-centered, etc... I do very few things "religiously." In fact, I would say that I have almost no personal pietisms. I don't feel the need to avoid work on Sundays, blended fabrics or shellfish; to protest "Desperate Housewives;" or necessarily, to stone children who disobey their parents. I attempt to make it to church every so often—although I have to credit my wife with getting my lazy @$$ out of bed most Sundays—and I do sing in the choir when not visiting friends or family or bass-fishing. (I'm lying, I don't bass-fish.)

However I read this article—

http://www.readthehook.com/stories/2006/01/12/essayamerican.html

which was reprinted from this article—

http://www.motherjones.com/news/exhibit/2005/12/exhibit.html

and I almost had a coronary brought on by self-righteous moral hyperventilation.

This little piggy...

Anyways, it's always easy to get your moral high dudgeon all twisted up in a knot when someone else doesn't practice the type of personal piety that you do. And the one thing that Janna and I have done as a matter of legalistic piety is to dispense TEN PERCENT of our income (before taxes, people) to what we consider to be worthy religious organizations and non-profits. This is what caught my eye...

2 IN 3 American households say they give to charity, at an average of $1,262 a year. But only 1 in 3 households report charitable deductions to the IRS.

IN 2002, Americans deducted $654 million for cars they donated to charity—7 times what the cars were actually worth.

ON AVERAGE, Americans think that 24% of the federal budget goes toward foreign aid. Only 0.9% actually does.

FOUR YEARS after Bush founded the Millennium Challenge Corporation to reward Africa’s best-run countries and pledged to fund it by $5 billion a year, the MCC has disbursed only 1% of that amount.

ASKED ABOUT doubling African aid, Bush said, “It doesn’t fit our budgetary process.”

Of course, when I read that, my first thought was, I'm going to stop giving my money, đ@μμ!+. Just think about the Benjamins that we could be counting right now if we had all of that money back. Janna and I could be living in a nice house in the suburbs.

Then I thought about how so many Falwells and Robertsons get worked up about approximately eight verses in the Bible dealing with homosexuality when we're living in a self-centered land that almost completely ignores the vast majority of Jesus' teaching.

Then, all the self-righteous ßЦ||$&!+ from Republicans who tell us that the government needs to give tax dollars back to individuals who will use it far more wisely than the government. As I stood in line behind a person of lower socio-economic status buying cancer sticks at Food Lion today, my head almost exploded with righteous indignation.

To quote Green Day,

Well maybe I'm the fagg*t America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.

At least I have impotent rage. Maybe someday I'll progress beyond adolescence.

Monday, January 16, 2006

This is what I mean

Gore gives 'em hell

Nev was right when he said that I can't expect Democrats to do everything right all the time. However, it is heartening to see the Dems grow a pair. I'd almost like to see Al run again in 2008. Anyways, I think, if you're going to go in for overheated rhetoric, you might as well do it without a smile on your face.

Socialista Sudamericana numero tres

How about that "red menace" in Latin America? It seems like nothing drives our Latino friends into the arms of Fidel Castro than El Moron Particularmente EstadouniDENSE. With friends like George Bush, who needs enemies?

a bad sports weekend

Calvin KnightsSo, Janna, Ryan, Rebecca, and I watched the Flying Dutchpeople rip the Knights a new opening in their GI tract. Washington RedskinsPromptly thereafter, the Redskins lost to the Seahawks. Not that I care too greatly, but the next day Da Bears were spanked by the Panthers, a team they earlier defeated at Soldier Field. Chicago BearsOf course, all this is made more palatable by the fact that the Colts were taken down by the Steelers, but Chicago CubsI can't help but have the sneaking suspicion that as a fan, or an interested observer, I am the world's greatest albatross around the neck of any sports team. Unfortunately this seems to carry over into politics as well.
United States Democrats

Friday, January 13, 2006

Don't tell Janna I'm not taking down the Christmas decorations

Okay, she'll find out in about thirty minutes anyways.

So, I am thankful to the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior not only for living and losing his life in pursuit of justice, but also for doing it in a such a way that grants me and all other educational, postal, federal, and sundry workers a day free from the obligations of our jobs. The fact that I have been granted this Friday the 13th off is an added blessing. Now, I am going to fritter away the weekend by going to see Ryan and Rebecca in D.C.

Now that I have had this blog for a year, I can start to see the annual patterns of my life. Thankfully, there is no snow in the forecast this year, however, I did serve as DJ again for the "Movement Μαραθον". At least this year I found out about that three days ahead of time. However, the students didn't even think about being tired this time around. Of course I blame this on the đ@μи Jeopardy game that Brian set up for me to run. Instead of sitting in a chair and pushing buttons on a machine, I spent my time playing an ignorant, tired, and surly Alex Trebek. If it weren't for Jeremy, Brian's dark apprentice, helping me out, I would've just crawled into a corner and hid for the rest of the night.

Anyways, I've started reading Gorgon, and I'm getting really into it, so be prepared to hear more about my burgeoning interest in paleontology—that, and the Permian extinction. (By the way, I am this close to buying the Guide to Prehistoric Life from the good people at the BBC, which I perused cover to cover at Schuler's Books in Grand Rapids.)

Anyways, Commander Sue invited me to do the Meme of Seven a long time ago. I must admit that, although I believe that the unexamined life is not worth living, I don't really think that internet personality tests or lists of favorites really offer true egress to the inner workings of soul. (I don't even believe that Meyers-Briggs or other scientific personality tests are any more useful than horoscopes, because people are infinitely complex. I mean, look at all the ink that has been spilt psychoanalyzing Hamlet, or Oedipus for that matter.)

Therefore it is my belief that lists of favorites and internet personality tests are the multiple-choice standardized assessments of the self-knowledge universe. But who am I to judge—I love multiple-choice tests. I can just send my them straight through the scantron machine.

Therefore, without further ado, a somewhat altered "Meme of Three"—because brevity is the soul of wit, and because I'm thinking about getting the image to your left tattoed on my shoulder (theological suggestions, anyone, I can't seem to think of any good semiotics to go with the Triquetra)—with thanks to Commander Sue and Meg Jenista.

    Three favorite snacks
  1. Diet pop (yes, that's pop, đ@μμ!+)

  2. Protein and wierd-sugar-substitue bars (mmmm...so proteiny)

  3. Beef Jerky (I pity the fool that doesn't snap into a Slim Jim®)

    Three things I say all the time
  1. If you remember nothing else from today's class...

  2. Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur...

  3. Changing anything that ends with -ile into -ahl (the Southern accent is like a virus)

    Three bad habits
  1. self-loathing

  2. narcissism

  3. picking my nose

    Three books I enjoyed or am enjoying reading
  1. Carmina Catulli

  2. The Gates of the Forest

  3. 1491

    Three things I like to do
  1. work-out (Help—I've become a pod person)

  2. read books about pre-history

  3. attempt to indoctrinate students

    Three impractical things that would be really cool
  1. a cell-phone/PDA/digital video camera/video MP3 player/FM radio/portable TV/GPS with a 100-gigabyte hard drive

  2. a streetcar on West Main Street

  3. a solar-powered jacket

    Three things I was doing 10 years ago
  1. participating in too many extra-curricular activities

  2. trying to get a date

  3. channeling my adolescent angst through Rage Against the Machine

    Three things I'd like to think that I wouldn't do
  1. join a Japanese crime syndicate

  2. own a sweatshop

  3. invade a country based on biased and faulty intelligence reports which I never questioned

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Losing oneself in the divine,
or vice versa

"39Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:39

"7Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:7-10

I watched my school's swim team compete today at the AFC while I worked out. It was great to see the kids be so enthusiastic, especially when half of them were too young to actually compete at this meet. Our new swim coach from West Michigan is keeping those kids straight. (If you're snickering right now, it's because you have the dirty mind, not I.) It was a good feeling to be recognized and have my presence appreciated. But it was an even better feeling to know that I am part of a community that encourages its members.

I have lost 40 pounds since August. I've started eating more, since I have grown to enjoy the exercise. My BMI is finally 25, and I like it like that.

I bought the book Gorgon from Barnes & Noble with a gift certificate that I received from my students for Christmas.

I've been blogging for a year, and I no longer think about my whole life as a blogging opportunity. I don't like to blog about blogging, because the very idea itself is so cloyingly postmodern it makes me want to cry. I think blogging may have lost its novelty for me but retains its utility as a therapeutic tool.

"5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father."
Philippians 2:5-11

Friday, January 06, 2006

Captain Glib and the Schadenfreude Patrol

I'm a Democrat like I'm a Cubs fan. I get to watch a bunch of overpaid losers squander the good will of the entire nation on getting tantalizingly close to actually winning something and then totally blowing it. And then I show up next year and root for the same team.

The Dean GleamApparently someone at the Dean team thought that this image, much like the widely disseminated "Dean Scream," would get me excited by seeing Howard Dean glibly chastise G.W. over the introduction of a Big Brother-like "data-mining" operation. Dean's goofy-@$$ grin is about as appropriate as a educably mental retarded person being the leader of the free world.

Seriously, nobody likes a smart-@$$. They may laugh at their jokes, but they won't invite them to their afternoon tea. I mean, I go out of my way to create a blueprint for Democracy, and Dean himself sends this candy-@$$ grin to my inbox like he just won the goofy-looking-white-guys Olympics. I mean, I could see why a news outlet might try and capture that moment for all eternity. But Teamo Deano Supremo? What the heck are they thinking?

By the way, I was excited to hear from one Ms. Erica Schemper, whose younger sister was in my class in High School. Check out her website here.

http://erikanderica.org/erica/

Monday, January 02, 2006

If I had a million dollars...

...or maybe several tens of millions.

I know that CmdrSue tagged me to do the Meme of Seven, but I was more inspired by her Liberal Values Index. This is what I was thinking about as I rode home yesterday from the Midwest and drank way too much caffeine. Hence, I am still awake. This is also why I haven't gone to bed yet.

I am under no illusion at all that anyone cares or listens to what I say on this blog. However, if I were running for Congress as a Democrat in 2006, I would write a book. I would put all the most important information in the first two chapters, so that if you didn't read the whole book, you'd still get the idea. This is the outline for that book. This idea, of course, is inspired by Newt Gingrich. Also, I would not claim ownership for any of the ideas below. All of them are just things that I believe in. Al, if you're interested, feel free to lift anything from below.

Find this as a word file at http://www.people.virginia.edu/~mjl6p/five.doc

I) FIVE FUNDAMENTALS OF FREEDOM
It is a profound and simple truth that freedom isn’t free. However, its cost can be described, if not counted.
A) Self-Determination
All individuals, groups, and nations should have the right to choose their own path in and way of life.
B) Mutual Accountability
If individuals, groups, or nations choose their own way of life, the responsibility for that choice lies with them. Citizens, both individual and corporate, should be accountable to their government and to each other. The government should be accountable to its citizens. Government is no more inherently bad that its citizens. It is by holding each other accountable that the good can be maximized.
C) Honesty and Openness
If one is accountable for one’s actions, then one must be prepared to not only be able to honestly give an accounting for those actions, but to fully and openly disclose one’s dealings.
D) Service
The great religious and philosophic traditions maintain that how we treat others is how we treat ourselves. Helping others to free themselves is the way we can experience true freedom.
E) Fair Competition
Honest, accountable, and fair competition draws out good from the human spirit—whether that competition is in the arts, athletics, academics, politics, or the marketplace. Fairness means not that everyone competes on an equal playing field, but that everyone competes at a level which matches their abilities and meets their needs.

II) A MODEST PLAN FOR GROWTH
A) Fairness in Taxation

1) Building an economy on tax cuts and deficits is like building a house on the sand.
2) Fairness is not equality—to whom much is given, much is demanded.
a) The Graduated Income Tax is fair.
b) The Estate Tax is fair.
c) Consumption Tax is fairer than a Sales Tax.
3) Any company that does business in the United States must make public its assets and that of any of its holding companies or subsidiaries.
4) Tax loopholes for wealthy corporate or individual citizens should be closed.
B) Funding National Priorities
1) The federal budget deficit is made worse by reckless spending.
2) We must establish a clear, concise list of national priorities.
3) The GAO should give ratings to every budget item based on how it matches with these priorities.
4) This information should be made public to every citizen via the internet.
5) We should end corporate welfare, except where it meets vital national interest.
a) For instance, we should phase out farm subsidies, except for farmers or agribusinesses who harvest renewable energies such as bio-diesel, bio-mass, or ethanol.
C) Sustainable Security
1) We must have resolve in the face of opposition.
a) We must succeed in Iraq and Afghanistan, however, success is not measured solely by the number of American boots on the ground.
b) We must increase the size of the Army.
c) We must bring terrorists and their crimes to the public eye, not just kill them.
d) We should favor consensus over secrecy whenever reasonable.
2) Long-term strategies for success
a) We cannot invade every country with whom we disagree.
b) America is a brand that the world will choose to endorse or not endorse.
c) We must encourage the growth of peaceful democracy and free markets.
d) We should openly support peaceful democratic movements with more than words.
e) America should be a positive voice for change.
i) Our government should sponsor development and aid in poorer countries.
ii) A guest worker program is preferable to a wall.
D) Energy Independence
1) We cannot be held hostage by petroleum tyrants.
2) We need to harvest renewable energy.
a) Bio-diesel
b) Bio-mass
c) Solar and Wind to Hydrogen
3) We need to invest in Nuclear Power.
a) Nuclear fission is the cleanest, safest energy we have.
b) We need to invest in nuclear fusion, the energy of the future.
4) We need to use our abundant coal more cleanly.
E) Valuing Faith
1) We need to assume that all people are men and women of goodwill and want to see their fellow citizens flourish.
a) We need to earnestly listen to the voices of all faith communities.
b) Liberals need to respect the voices of Christian Evangelicals.
c) Humanists need to affirm that their values system is a values system like that of any religion.
i) Religion is from a Latin word that means “the tie that binds us together as people.”
d) Christians should recognize that our equality from God comes from the “image of God” which we all bear.
e) Christians should recognize that they do not “earn” their possessions or their livelihood, but that all good gifts come from God.
2) We need to encourage a culture of life.
a) Liberals should work to minimize or eliminate the incidence of abortion, a morally troubling phenomenon, by encouraging…
i) Abstinence,
ii) Condom and Birth-Control Use,
iii) and Adoption.
b) We all should work to make sure that the death penalty, if applied, is only done so justly.
i) All potential death-row inmates should have access to a lawyer paid for by the government at an equal grade to their prosecutor.
ii) DNA evidence should incontrovertibly link death-row inmates to the crimes for which they have been convicted in a court of law.
3) We need to value people.
a) A healthy economy is not the only goal of our society.
b) All American workers should be paid a fair wage.
c) Those who are marginalized should be given assistance to rebuild their lives.
i) Social services are an integral part of a fair government budget.
ii) Private contributions cannot provide for all the country’s needs.
iii) Government should not discriminate by religion when giving funds to social service providers.
F) Educational Responsibility
1) The economy will continue to change and jobs which employed thousands decades ago will become obsolete. However, new jobs will always be created.
a) There is a gap in this country between the current skills of unemployed or underemployed workers and the skills needed for the new jobs that are being created.
b) Government, Industry, and Individuals should all be responsible for closing this gap.
2) Students should be held accountable for their own learning.
a) If the government requires students to take standardized tests, it should provide educational benefits to the individuals who meet the standards.
i) Students who meet state standards as a junior in high school should be given free tuition for two years at any public junior college.
ii) Students who demonstrate excellence on state tests should be given appropriate grants, not loans, to attend state universities.
iii) Students who underperform should be required to repeat the appropriate schooling and given one second chance to earn the same rewards as their peers.
3) The Government should encourage excellent teaching.
a) Those who demonstrate excellence in their profession should be rewarded in their paycheck.
b) Salaries for harder to find subject-area teachers, such as science, math, and foreign language, should be more equal to private industry.
c) Underperforming teachers should be expected to complete university-designed remediation programs.
4) Industry should promote technology in the classroom.
a) Tax-credits should be given to companies that sponsor or donate technology to public schools.
G) National Health Accountability
1) Health-care costs make American businesses less competitive with and American workers less productive than other first world workers.
2) So far, only businesses and individuals have been responsible to government for their health care.
a) Government should pay for a basic level of health care for all citizens.
i) This should include routine and preventative care, including a gym or health club membership.
ii) This should include a certain level of medically necessary and common services which could fluctuate yearly—but not decrease between a certain level—based on the availability of funds.
iii) Affordable co-payments should be made for every medical service rendered that are of a fixed percentage of the medical service’s cost.
iv) Health Care providers would be expected to digitize all medical records, for which the government would take final responsibility to maintain and keep private.
v) The Government would provide all citizens with a patient’s bill of rights, allowing them a choice of health care providers.
vi) The Government would use its negotiating power to purchase drugs at a low cost for seniors, rather than giving pharmaceutical corporations more corporate welfare.
b) Since businesses would be saved a large percentage of medical costs, they would be expected to offer supplementary medical insurance to every full- OR part-time worker to cover the things which government can or will not.
c) Every employer would be expected to offer every worker some type of Flexible Spending or Health Savings Account.