Conflict on Earth and Illwill towards Men

Thanks to Sixth Doctor I have decided to descend into the alternate reality that is the "War on Christmas." Of course this war was created by FOXNews, which brings to mind what William Randolph Hearst once said to Frederick Remington in Cuba in 1898, "You furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war." And I can give the good doctor credit for the inspiration to write this note to John Gibson—

From: mateo_lind@hotmail.com
Sent: Tuesday, December 13,
2005 7:55 PM
To: waronchristmas@johngibson.com
Subject: and on earth, peace, to men of goodwill

Feliz Navidad, brother. I pray that God blesses your Christmas.

If we are celebrating the birth of the Prince of Peace, then why is it necessary to talk about a war on the celebration of his birthday? I thought that Christians were "more than conquerors," meaning, we are better than all those pagans who like to "lord it over" each other. Also, what about the Calvinist founding fathers like Cotton Mather or Jonathan Edwards that would have considered celebrating Christmas to be sinful and idolatrous? Also, I hope that you understand that these men did not celebrate Christmas because it was instituted by Constantine the Great in order to coincide with the cult of Invictus Sol, whose soltice was the highest holiday. In fact, coins Constantine minted feature himself on one side with the sun disk and the words Invictus Sol, and on the other side the image of the Christ. Christmas was created much like Kwanzaa to be a festival celebrated at a time of year when there were holiday celebrations for other traditions that were exclusive of Christians.

Also, if you want others to be thoughtful and understand your point of view, why do you write a polemic? I can understand if you're just trying to be entertaining, but if you're going to take yourself seriously as a thoughtful person and demand others to be conciliatory to you, why not be conciliatory towards others?

Peace,
Matt Lind
Charlottesville, VA

Of course I realize that FOXNews exists solely to take something that is relatively serious and important—that being our freedom and democracy—and to make it into a big flipping joke. So, for the punchline, I turned to the "War on Christmas" section at MediaMatters.org. Therefore, I invite you to laugh along with Mr. O'Reilly as one would laugh at any authority figure, yours truly included, who might express such a lovely sentiment.

"I am not going to let oppressive, totalitarian, anti-Christian forces in this country diminish and denigrate the holiday and the celebration. I am not going to let it happen. I'm gonna use all the power that I have on radio and television to bring horror into the world of people who are trying to do that. And we have succeeded. You know we've succeeded. They are on the run in corporations, in the media, everywhere. They are on the run, because I will put their face and their name on television, and I will talk about them on the radio if they do it. There is no reason on this earth that all of us cannot celebrate a public holiday devoted to generosity, peace, and love together. There is no reason on the earth that we can't do that. So we are going to do it. And anyone who tries to stop us from doing it is gonna face me."

I imagine that Mr. O'Reilly practiced this one with his children in between sexually harassing his producers on the corporate jet on the way to Aruba last Christmas. MediaMatters.org gleefully pointed out that for this statement Mr. O'Reilly earned the "Worst Person in the World" award from Mr. Olbermann of MSNBC.

Here's another found object from the FOXNews alternate universe website—

"Tonight's Show
Why are high-ranking clergymen avoiding the Xmas controversy? Plus, Snoop Dogg's Mother!"